i always knew i would be a mama. sure i gave my mother a hard time saying NEVER. i really wanted to skip the whole toddler eating with hands stage but really, i always knew motherhood was in the cards for me.
i wanted a house full and for me that meant three. i love the noise, the smells, the words, the play, the learning, the hugs and the mess of motherhood. i love the emotion, the crafts, the comfort of motherhood. i love the process and the amazing dynamics of what God made.
trey is asleep in his bed after a night away, his first night away from home. we all have settled back in after a night apart. i like having all my chickens under one roof. i like when everyone is tucked in as they should be.
mothering the third time around is very different. time has passed, i am older. i would not say i love him more, no, but i do love him differently. more intently. more passionantly. deeper. i think i love neil, jordan and mcgwire more, better, deeper since trey. i am older, wiser and have more under my belt.
i have always been pretty attached to my boys.....but as i age i realize that everyday is a gift. not just something you say or have posted on the fridge...it really is a GIFT. i am not sure when i was young i got that. now i do. sadly tears and tragic things have taught me this. but i am a fast learner.
i also know that trey will grow quickly. each stage flys by. so i savour more. stare at and just sit a lot more than i did before. drinking it all in. tattooing everything in my memory. hopefully when i am really old and forget things, i forget what i learned in school and remember what i learned in life.
trey has discovered turning pages in his board books. he is so focused. i just stare and smile at his new skill. his little fingers working to do something they could not do yesterday. something his brain was not aware of....but today....oh my, he does it over and over and over. how amazing. how awesome.
mcgwire wants to cook more and more. he wants to chop and stir. pick out recipes and make plans. he is developing his kitchen skills and his life skills. he is maturing and growing into the person that will break my heart and move out before i know it.
jordan wants to drive. omgoodness. i remember those days and i try to say yes more than no. he is very attentive. he listens to all my direction. he shows his nerves and his confidence all in a split second. he is a cautious person, i hope he stays that way while driving. i am a mad woman thinking that one day soon he will drive away on his own. without me.
stages, i have many stages going on in my life. different stages of motherhood. different stages of life.
everyday is a gift. treasure it. drink it. remember it.
