brookie

a little girl celebrated a birthday yesterday...she is in heaven.  been in heaven longer than she was on earth and she wasn't on earth for long.  but o what an impact she made. 

she changed me, and i only met her twice.  she changed my family, both the unit i live with and extended as well.  she did so much in my heart that i almost can't wait to get to heaven to thank her.  i feel she is helping me GET to heaven.  leading me.  giving me directions.  i feel she is doing that for a lot of people. 

i think of her everyday.  i sometimes hear her whisper to me.  i have heard her stories so many times it is like we are already friends.  and we are. 

how does a child so small teach so many how to love and give and be?  that is our mighty mighty God.  giving a child more wisdom than explainable to teach the old what they missed and the young how to live.  we should all pay more attention to littles and if we are in direct contact we should not take the wonder from them.  they have much to teach us but we have to listen and be open to who they are. 

God set her on a course and man she was awesome almost unstoppable on it.  He knew she would face great pain.  He knew she would touch many.  He knew she was the right one for the job. 

are we all open to our courses or do we fight them, try to control them, even jump off of them?  are we open to what others have to teach us?  are we listening?  hell are we even paying attention?  what job have we missed because we had to much else going on? 

i live differently because of her.  i make different choices.  i spend my money differently.  i raise my children differently.  i love my husband differently.

all because of an earthly 5 year old/heavenly 11 year old......        

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sleep

how important is sleep?  VERY IMPORTANT.  i must need like 20 hours of sleep a day.  i mean, some people say they can sleep like 4 or 5 hours and be good.  i am just getting some good sleep by that time.  4 to 5 hours?  really?  that is all.  nope not me.  hubster can get like 6 and be good.  i get that "slumber party" taste in my mouth after six hours.  you know the one.  when you have not had enough sleep, eaten junk food for breakfast and the rest of the day the taste in your mouth is....well it's just off.  i really need a good 10 solid hours and i can survive.  but  20 hours a day is optimum.  seriously.   

why

why "nothing spotless" you ask?  or maybe you don't ask but i am giving you something to read so just go with it...k?  k.

nothing is ever spotless.  nothing.  nada.  zip.  not my shirt, my table, my mind, my windows and CERTAINLY not my floor.

and basically this blog is about my life so nothing spotless it is.

an few things to know......

i love using "......"
i may or may not capitalize, it's my blog get over it.
i will always look over some mispelling or whatever and not see it until the moment i hit publish at which time i may or may not have the energy to hit edit and correct it.
i have very little idea of the proper use of commas so i use them when the feeling strikes me, again it's my blog.
most blogs are filtered to an audience, i do not want that for myself.  basically i am typing to myself, conversations in my head that i am typing.  so call me crazy but it is theraputic and if you read it great but my point is to be raw and open so do not judge.  one day i feel like laura from little house on the prairie the next day i am sweet sister mary and then bam nellie is all up in your face. again, call me crazy but i knows i gots lots of company so i feel safe.
i have a laptop that has a handicap parking tag in its own name.  sometime the "h" and "g" refuse to work.  sometime i et tired of bettin on it.  see in te last sentence you kinda feel my pain. deal wit it.
i currently have to much on my plate, in life as well as at the dinner table.  i am working on both.

glad i am here.  have much to post.

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jump....

just jumping back in...i long ago had a blog.  then a mean ole hacker compromised my email and i changed it and then couldn't get back into blogger and didn't know who to call...unlike if i needed ghostbusts, well, then i would have had no problem.  bill or dan or what was that third guy...anyway they could of helped but that my friends was not my issue.  life happened and blogging got pushed to the side anyway. but i kept writing blog posts in my head and now they are overflowing in making me antsy so i need a place to dump them, for my mental health. you know. so i am back to blogging.

diving, jumping, head first, feet first or maybe a belly flop....but getting my blog groove back on.

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Knock knock....

Who's there?

ME!